It is a simple fact of life that everyone complains about one thing or another from time to time. Maybe we think the boss is treating us unfairly, so we complain about that. Maybe we think a meal in a restaurant is not as good as it should be, so we complain about that. Maybe we are running late while other drivers seem determined to make us even later, so we complain about that.
Our list could go on and on (and on!). The truth of the matter is it can be quite easy to find yourself complaining about various things much of the time. There are times, of course, when leveling a fair complaint can lead to positive change of one kind or another, but often folks complain about things over which they have little to no control. Indeed, sometimes a person might seem to be complaining for the sake of complaining.
If you are a person in recovery from a substance use disorder, it is likely you will experience challenges and even setbacks that it seems only natural to complain about. Maybe you have a certain friend who you tend to turn to when you want to vent about difficulties of all sorts—including those related to your recovery.
That is a wonderful thing. But it can also lead to problems that threaten your friendship and your recovery if there is not more balance in your relationships.
The Importance of Strong Relationships in Recovery
Building and maintaining a strong support system is essential to your recovery efforts. Your supportive friends can be a pillar of that support system. These are folks who will stand by you in good times and bad, and that kind of steadfast kindness and loyalty can see you through when you are truly struggling.
Sometimes, however, those strong friendships can start to become one-sided—especially if every time you get together, you tend to share your complaints about your recovery (and whatever else comes to mind). If this imbalance persists, your friends—even your closest friends—will start to feel burdened. That is not good for them or for you.
That is not to say that you should never share things you are struggling with when you see your friends. After all, one of the best things about friendship is an ability to be honest with one another. But balance and a willingness to work toward positive change are both vitally important, too.
Do the Work to Resolve Your Complaints and Shift Your Thinking
We have made the case that constant complaining is not good for you, your recovery, or for the people who end up listening to your litany of dissatisfaction. So what should you do instead of complaining? Here are some ideas:
- Make a point to try to find solutions. Being proactive about making improvements is almost always a better move than simply complaining. For example, are you frustrated by how often cravings seem to pop up? That’s fair. Instead of complaining about it to a friend, try developing a set of strategies for dealing with those cravings when they arise. You can find some ideas related to cravings here.
- Minimize complaining and amplify affirmations and gratitude. It is pretty easy to complain, and so it can become a habit of mind. We suggest being intentional about employing affirmations and a spirit of gratitude in your day-to-day life. Sure, there are going to be annoying, difficult moments that you are tempted to dwell on, but odds are you can find moments to be positive and to be thankful. After all, being in recovery is itself something worth celebrating. Find more on these ideas here and here.
- When spending time with a friend, focus on the positive and really listen. A friendship can fall into a bit of a pattern—one person complains, and the other listens and sympathizes. Over time, the person who does the listening is likely to get worn down from all the negativity. Your relationships will be healthier if you are able to bring some positivity to your interactions and if you are at least as willing to listen as you are to talk.
These practices can improve the quality of your friendships while also helping you make positive and lasting changes in your life that will support your recovery going forward.
We Won’t Complain If You Turn to Us for Help
Located in Henryville, Indiana, Wooded Glen Recovery Center was recently named one of the top substance use disorder treatment centers in the country for the fifth consecutive year. It is an honor that reflects our commitment to personalized, evidence-based treatment plans that help the people we serve leave drugs or alcohol behind so they can reclaim their future.
You can count on our expertise and experience as well as our spirit of empathy. We will see you through medically supervised detoxification and a rehabilitation program that includes group and individual therapy sessions. We will help you acquire the resources, strategies, and support you need to begin your recovery journey with a sense of confidence. Our alumni program ensures you stay connected to Wooded Glen and to others who understand the challenges you have overcome as well as the difficulties that you might be facing now.