American culture—by which we mean both pop culture and the general culture of our society—often seems obsessed with romantic relationships. We keep track of which celebrities are dating. We root for our favorite fictional onscreen couples to get together. We go to romcoms, read romance novels, watch reality shows about finding a spouse, and more.
And, of course, we obsess about our own relationships, too. If we are in one, we wonder if it is the right one and whether we should put in the work to make it better. If we are not in one, we hit the dating apps or ask our friends to set us up, or what have you.
If you are a person in recovery from a substance use disorder, however, a romantic relationship is not necessarily what you should be focused on. Instead, you might really hone in on your relationship to yourself. At the beginning of the recovery journey, being single can be to your advantage.
Let’s take a look at why that might be the case. But first, an important clarification.
Some Relationships Survive a Substance Use Disorder, While Others Do Not
We certainly do not want to suggest that when you go into recovery, you should blow up your existing romantic relationship. If you are fortunate enough to have a spouse or partner who has stood by you throughout your challenges with drugs or alcohol, you will benefit from their ongoing support and love. Indeed, a strong relationship can help firm up the foundations of your recovery.
That said, if your marriage, long-term relationship, or even your situationship has contributed to your substance use disorder or had a negative impact on your mental health, the best thing you can do for yourself may be to bring that partnership to an end in as amicable a way as possible.
If your relationship fell apart due in whole or in part to your substance use, we would encourage you not to rush to return to the old status quo. It is important to make amends when you can, but that is not the same as rushing back into a former relationship.
With all of that said, we are ready to consider the advantages of being single in the early days of recovery.
Doing the Work to Set Yourself Up for Ongoing Recovery Success
As your recovery gets underway, it is a good idea to turn your attention to making positive, lasting changes in your life that will support your efforts to leave drugs or alcohol behind. Those changes might include:
- Establishing a habit of attending 12-Step or other recovery support meetings
- Pursuing ongoing therapy for any mental health disorders that may be tangled up with your substance use disorder
- Making a commitment to exercising regularly, eating healthfully, and sleeping restfully
- Taking up practices like yoga and/or mindfulness meditation, journaling, and others, that provide support for your emotional well-being
- Finding meaningful ways to contribute to your community
- Cultivating a spirit of gratitude in your own life
This focus on your relationship to yourself is essential in the early days of recovery—and beyond. That is why it is often suggested that a person in recovery should not enter into a romantic relationship for at least a year after going through treatment.
Swimming Against the Relationship Tide Is Worth It
As we have noted, the idea that folks should pair off is prevalent—even overwhelming at times. Still, when your recovery is new, there is real value in the effort to learn more about yourself, your needs and challenges, and how you can rely on yourself rather than a partner for ongoing validation.
Also, it probably goes without saying that relationships—whether new or old—can be stressful. High levels of stress can be the enemy of recovery, so setting that particular stressor aside for a while can be a good idea.
Struggling? We Suggest Starting a Relationship With Us
Located in Henryville, Indiana, Wooded Glen Recovery Center helps those who are struggling with substance use disorders and with co-occurring mental health disorders. Our treatment plans are built on evidence-based practices and personalized to meet each individual’s specific needs. We provide the support, resources, and respect you need to make a significant change for the better in your life.
Wooded Glen offers medically supervised detoxification to help you weather withdrawal while getting drugs or alcohol out of your system. Our residential treatment program provides a safe and structured environment that includes group and individual therapy sessions. Our family program acknowledges that a substance use disorder impacts more than a single person and provides support and education to strengthen a family’s ability to move forward together in positive ways. And our commitment to continuing care ensures that our alumni always have resources and the support they need as their recovery journey unfurls.
When you are ready to leave drugs and alcohol in the past and start building a brighter future for yourself, we are here to help you reach your recovery goals. The best time to get started is always right now—and we are always ready to get to work.